My blog today is of a personal nature. It disturbs me that a young girl in Polk County was bullied to her suicide. It also disturbs me to find out that this bullying has gone on for quite some time. I am NOT blaming anyone, but I do have a few questions. Why didn't the parents do anything about it? Did you not notice a change in your daughter? Were you not informed enough to know the difference? Maybe you were just scared? Or maybe you just didn't know the resources that were available to you. Maybe I am from the old school of parenting where I am highly involved in my daughter's life. I know her friends, I know who she is talking to, I know basically what she is doing almost every day. I am with her for many hours every day. I participate in her school programs, her recreational activities, and am great friends with many of her friends parents. If something was wrong (besides being tired all the time - typical teenager) I would know immediately. 

You see I was the victim of bullying when I was in middle school. Even though I went to a private school, I got teased all the time. I was 13 years old and weighed 200 pounds. My parents didn't have the money for the coolest clothes and that was okay with me. Believe me my P.E. uniform didn't look cool on anyone. But I was a great athlete. My nickname was "White Whale". I eventually moved away and lost 50 pounds in one summer. Over the years I struggled with self-esteem and self-confidence but as I have become more mature, I have realized I am as good as everyone else. When I had my daughter, she was premature and tiny. I could not for the life of me get that girl to weigh over 30 pounds until she was 6 years old. Now, She stands tall and proud at 5'10", 165 pounds, stronger than an ox and prettier than any girl I have ever seen. What makes her pretty is her attitude. She has joined a club at school against bullying. Why? Because she was bullied in 4th grade and remembers what it was like. Now she doesn't care what people think of her. Granted, she is only 14 years old but for her to have such a positive outlook now, tells me she is going to a strong woman one day. 

I know today many home struggle - single parents, two parents, two jobs, constant running. Most kids are left to fend for themselves on a regular basis. Some kids, the only meals they get are the ones that they get at school each day. I know it is a struggle. I know how tired a working mom can be. I was a single mother with my son for 11 years. I have worked a 40 hour a week job all my life up until 5 years ago. That does not excuse a parent's involvement with their child. With all the technology we have out there, communicate with your child. If you don't want to communicate via technology, do it the old fashioned way: Sit down and talk to your child. Unplug your child. Spend a day at the park with your child. Laugh with them. Eat a meal with them. All it takes it just a few minutes of your time daily to change a child's future. 

I have seen the statistics and am posting the information below. Even if you aren't a parent, sometimes all a child needs is an adult in their life who shows some interest. Can't we all work together to prevent this from happening? It is truly disturbing to me to see these statistics.

The following information is from the website http://www.stopbullyingnowfoundation.org

Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker or who they think is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.

Often people dismiss bullying among kids as a normal part of growing up. But bullying is harmful. It can lead children and teenagers to feel tense and afraid. It may lead them to avoid school. In severe cases, teens who are bullied may feel they need to take drastic measures or react violently. Others even consider suicide. For some, the effects of bullying last a lifetime.

School Bullying effects us all

The overall outlook of the long term effects of bullying upon society is grim:

1. 60% of middle school students say that they have been bullied, while 16% of staff believes that students are bullied.
2. 160,000 students stay home from school every day due to bullying. (NEA)
3. 30% of students who reported they had been bullied said they had at times brought weapons to school.
4. A bully is 6 times more likely to be incarcerated by the age of 24.
5. A bully is 5 times more likely to have a serious criminal record when he grows up.
6. 2/3 of students who are targets become bullies.
7. 20% of all children say they have been bullied.
8. 20% of high school students say they have seriously considered suicide within the last 12 months.
9. 25% of students say that teachers intervened in bullying incidents while 71% of teachers say they intervened.
10. The average child has watched 8,000 televised murders and 100,000 acts of violence before finishing elementary school.
11. In schools where there are anti-bullying programs, bullying is reduced by 50%.
12. Bullying was a factor in 2/3 of the 37 school shootings reviewed by the US Secret Service.
13. According to the National Institute of Occupational Safety Health (NIOSH) (Sauter, et al.,1990), there is a loss of employment amounting to $19 billion and a drop in productivity of $3 billion due to workplace bullying.
14. Law enforcement costs related to bullying are enormous.  Since 1999, the Office on Violence against Women (OVW) has spent $98 million in assistance to address campus sexual violence.

Thank you for letting me vent here. I always welcome comments. All I ask is that you keep it clean.